A Queer Teacher & Her Queer Student - Inclusion in Schools

Left: Alex Stefan. Left: Jack Mace.

The importance of Wear It Purple Day is and always will be creating safe spaces for young people - specifically in schools as it was founded by students.

Our Youth Action Council is filled with a diverse community of LGBTQ+ youth - one of them being Jack Mace - an eccentric 17 year old gay young man from Western Sydney who proudly enjoys drag performing, queer activism, standing up against bullying and being a part of the Wear It Purple Team.

The initial response I had received from my family and peers [when I came out] was actually very positive! I was very lucky in this sense. I came out in my final years of primary school and at that point everyone had assumed based on certain things I had done and said that they had picked up on, and just my overall personality. Because I was so young, it was a very scary experience for me, but I wasn’t ashamed. I was sure of who I was and stuck with it. I did experience a lot of bullying through primary and high school because of my sexuality, but I never gave into it and always stuck with my gut.

- Jack Mace, Wear It Purple Youth Action Council Member

He claims that he would not be this confident and empowered without the support of his queer teacher, Alex Stefan, who is also Wear It Purple’s official School Liaison Officer and one of the Board Directors for the team.

“Before high school, I remember my older sister telling me all about the GSA at our school and the PDHPE teacher who was a lesbian and I was so excited because at that point in time, I had not yet met another gay person” says Jack. “Having a queer teacher made me feel much more secure in my school because I suddenly felt like I truly had someone who was like me and would be on my side through any issues I were to have”

Alex, who is currently temporarily living in the USA with her love, Malia, is an openly proud butch lesbian P.E teacher of over 12 years and has trail blazed her way through inclusion and acceptance in schools for students and teachers of all genders, sexuality, nationalities, races and neuro-diversities.

I’m super lucky to have always been surrounded by incredible allies at school who have always loved and supported me, and made sure I knew they had my back. From the first time I came out to them at school, they were nothing but supportive. I know that’s not the same experience for a lot of teachers. Many teachers find it difficult to come out, to their teacher peers and to their students, out of fear of rejection or even being fired.

- Alex Stefan - Wear It Purple School Liaison Officer and Board Director.

The two have grown a strong friendship, bond and understanding of each other in the classroom and during their work together at Wear It Purple and StandOut, a student-led initiative GSA (Gender & Sexuality Alliance) for LGBTQ+ students at their school to feel safe, feel connected and discuss the important issues they face as queer students.

Left: Alex Stefan. Right: Jack Mace. Pictured at Parramatta Pride for Wear It Purple, 2019.

Have you seen a change in the well-being of other LGBTQ+ students due to the GSA?

Jack: I have! I know that for me, participating in my school’s GSA throughout my entire high school career allowed me to meet more people like myself and to feel like less of an outcast. It was amazing to finally be able to share stories and experiences with people who understood and had been through the same experiences themselves. It has been a lot of fun. Very liberating.

Alex: The creation of a GSA at [our] school has provided a safe space for rainbow students and allies to mentor and support each other. It allows them to learn and discuss the history of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as any current issues that affect them. I love watching the GSA students talk to each other and teach each other. It truly is the perfect mentoring system. My students are happier and more courageous, taking the leadership skills they learn within the GSA into their wider school experience. So many of our GSA leaders go on to become school leaders as well.

In your opinion, what is the best part about being inclusive in schools?

Jack: The best part about being inclusive in schools is seeing the faces of those who would otherwise not be accepted in other schools or areas. You can see the sense of happiness and freedom in their faces. Some of us don’t even understand how lucky we are to have inclusive school communities. We are so lucky to be able to be exactly who they are and be proud of that person. School inclusion allows us to feel so much freer and more accepted with our lifestyles and personalities.

Alex: Diversity and inclusion is so important, not just in schools, but in society itself. There is no one way, or right way, to be human. It’s our differences that make us interesting, it’s our differences that colour the world. Inclusion in schools allows ALL students to feel safe and supported, and creates an environment where they can be free to be themselves. This permits them to learn freely and grow into well-rounded humans, who do not have to live in fear or have any extra weight on their shoulders of remaining closeted.

Alex, have you seen an increase of queer identifying teachers since the GSA?

Alex: I have not seen an increase in openly queer teachers at my school, but have always felt the support of the ally teachers. Having said that, there are definitely a lot more openly queer teachers in the Education System now than ever before. Many queer teachers feel comfortable and safe in their school to be out and proud. The existence of things like the NSW Teachers Federation special interest group for LGBTQ+ teachers has been invaluable in allowing teachers to network and find support from one another. There are now also support systems within the Dept of Education for queer teachers, such as the Pride in Education group on yammer.
My hope too is that the Wear it Purple GSA resources will support both teachers and students in the adoption of GSA’s within their own schools. This will allow teachers to support their rainbow students now and well into the future, but also for queer students to mentor each other and have a safe space to exist and flourish.

Jack, What do you think is the most important resource to have as a queer student in a school?

Jack: As a queer student, I believe it is vital for schools to have resources such as Gender Sexuality Alliances and LGBTQIA+ sexual health education, so that students can feel seen, included and educated on their own personal health.
Gender Sexuality Alliances are a great resource for all schools, as they can assist with eliminating homophobia issues within the school, allow LGBTQIA+ students to support each other and feel included in the school community, and also to implement changes within the school to better the overall experience of their rainbow peers + future rainbow students.
Education of LGBTQIA+ sexual health is also vital for all schools, as it allows rainbow students to make safe and well-informed decisions. Education of heterosexual sexual health is not enough anymore. We need to implement education of LGBTQIA+ sexual health into the system because otherwise kids can make uninformed, potentially unsafe health decisions that can have long term effects. It can also make students feel uncomfortable and excluded from the conversation, as their own health needs are not being covered and they do not have access to other reliable and accurate sources for information.

How do you think that the GSA has affected your well-being as a queer student?

Jack: My school’s GSA has impacted me greatly as a student, because it has given me a place and a support system when I have been caught in potentially dangerous situations, connect with like-minded people and support other rainbow peers. I believe it has a positive impact on everybody, whether they participate in the alliance or not, because it has made our school a much more aware, accepting and supportive community. It has allowed for great things – such as Wear It Purple Day – to be put in place to improve the safely and well-being of peers – such as myself – and that is why I am so proud to be apart of it.

If you are a teacher, student or parent that sees the value in GSA groups, head to GSA Connect to register your interest for a guide pack to help you get started at your school.

Why is Wear It Purple Day important to you?

Alex: It’s important to me because it’s a really significant day that straight allies can truly show their support for their queer friends and family. That small token of wearing purple, even if it’s just a wristband, speaks volumes to a queer person. By wearing purple you are quietly telling queer youth that you are an ally, and that you are a safe and supportive person for them. We hear so many stories of closeted queer youth seeing strangers on the train with a Wear It Purple wristband on, and it completely makes their day. Sometimes that little bit of hope is all someone needs to make it through another day, or to realise that even if things are hard right now… they do get better. And to anyone struggling right now, I need you to know that it does get better. There is so much hope… and I promise you that you have a bright future ahead of you.

Jack: Wear It Purple day is important to me because it is a friendly reminder for my younger peers that they are not alone in this world and that there are many others around them who accept them. It is important for our rainbow youth to feel seen for who they are and unconditionally loved and accepted. It’s important because it allows kids like me to know that it’s okay to be who they are.

What's your best Wear It Purple Day memory at school?

Alex: Our very first Wear It Purple Day was the year that Gayby Baby was banned from being screened in schools, so we decided instead to have a whole school “Purple Picnic” in the quad to show our support. An overwhelming number of students chose to participate, so walking into the quad that day at lunch and seeing a sea of purple students really warmed my heart. They were all sitting in cute little groups on picnic rugs. Then as I went to join one of the teacher picnic rugs, the song “YMCA” was blasted over the PA system and everyone in the quad jumped up all at once. A teacher came and hugged me and whispered “this is for you”... and everyone started dancing to the YMCA in my honour. I still get teary when I think about it.

Jack: My best Wear It Purple memories come from our school colour run. Every year at our school on Wear It Purple Day, we get to participate in the colour run. Seeing all your friends and peers running beside you, showing support for your “kind” of people is a very reassuring experience. Knowing that you have all these people here, by your side supporting you is just the most beautiful thing.

Alex’s first memory of coming out was in her second year of teaching upon a casual conversation with a colleague. “One of my colleagues sidled up to me in the lunchroom one day and out of the blue said “Hey Stefani… are you gay?”. I looked at her, shrugged and said “yeah sometimes”. And that was that.“ she says. The feeling of acceptance because no one made a big deal out of it is what reassures her that she has a supportive group of workmates.
“I’m still not sure what gave me away though… could have been the mohawk I had back then?“

Hahaha.

Alex, what made you decide to be an openly queer teacher?

Alex: That old saying “be the person you needed when you were younger”. As a closeted queer teenager, I did not know any gay people. Everyone around me was super straight and super religious. I don’t think I even knew what the word lesbian meant until I was 14 or 15. I grew up believing God had put me in the wrong body, and that’s why I was attracted to girls. 

I don’t want any other rainbow young people to grow up like that. Visibility is so important. I wanted my students to always feel like they had someone to turn to, no matter how they identified or who they loved. I wanted to be their safe space.

For those who identify as queer, they know they have my support and that I’ll be there for them long after they finish school. I’m proud that my StandOut students go on to become successful leaders in their chosen fields because of the skills and support they have been provided. I’m proud of the difference in curriculum and planning I have made to the PDHPE program. We now teach an inclusive sex education and discuss the wide variety of possible relationships, and what makes them positive or negative. This is something I would love to see adopted across ALL schools in Australia, which would educate ALL young people and prepare them for whichever form of intimate relationships they might participate in. It’s so important for young people to be educated on all forms of sex education, so that they are equipped with the knowledge of how to engage safely BEFORE they’re actually in that moment.

I would like to thank the queer teachers who are pioneering their visibility in classrooms because it really does have a great impact on all of your students and you may not even realize. For the rainbow kids, queer teachers are someone to look up to and they make students feel that they are not alone in their individual journey. They also provide a person for rainbow students who will be able to understand and will want to assist in any homophobia/anti-LGBTQ+ issues. For heterosexual students, it surrounds them with more openly queer adults, which helps to remove stigma around sexuality and normalize the idea of people identifying with different sexualities. So thank you again to the queer teachers who are pioneering their visibility in schools, you are helping to create much more safer, supportive and accepting environments for our students.

- Jack Mace